I read a novel years ago where one female character was describing how overprotective her husband became when she became pregnant. He even wanted her to leave the bathroom door open in case she miscarried. “I said no to that one,” she said, “a woman’s got to maintain some mystery.”

Amen, sister.

I teach classes in how to market online which inevitably includes a discussion on how much of your personal life you should share online.

It depends, I say, on how much you’re comfortable sharing.

My personal preferences? Okay to share stuff that gives your friends and followers a taste of who you really are. Hobbies, okay. Current events, fine.

Not okay to tweet photos of your nether regions. That’s really oversharing, don’t you think?

I refer, of course to the New York congressman who just torpedoed his career because he hit “tweet” instead of “direct message” on Twitter, sending a photo of his crotch to his Twitter followers.

Seriously, do we need to say it again? Don’t post anything online you wouldn’t want your mother to see. (Or your constituants. Or the press. Or your spouse.)

If you want to succeed in marketing online you need to focus on your objectives.

That being said, I’m one of the biggest offenders of succumbing to BSO (Bright Shiny Objects) syndrome. I’m always chasing down rabbit holes, all in the name of research. I do learn a lot of good stuff, but it sometimes results in wasted time and missed deadlines. Not good.

So, here are some of my strategies for staying on track:

I allow myself some “play time” to catch up with friends and family members on Facebook, twitter and the like. Usually I combine this with watching tv or on my lunch hour. Last week  I had a long, fun chat with a high school friend and caught up with my cousin’s wife on Facebook.

During work hours I have a post-it of objectives next to my monitor that has a cryptic list of marketing objectives. As a consultant to self-published authors, my primary objective is to establish my expertise in online marketing and self publishing. So most of the comments I make are related to those topics. I automatically send a tweet to Twitter and post to my wall on Facebook when I update my blog. My blog is also on my LinkedIn profile. I comment on my friends’ status, and pass on articles that I find interesting. I also have Google Alerts relating to marketing and publishing that gives me plenty to comment on and write about.

Does this take hours every day? No, for the most part I spend about half an hour to an hour a day on social networking sites and checking the feeds for my alerts in Google Reader. Can it be done is less? Absolutely. I spend more time because I enjoy it! And, it’s my business to spend time doing this.

I’ll be presenting a talk “Social Media Marketing in 15 Minutes a Day,” on March 25 at EduCyber in Wheat Ridge, CO (my day job.) You can sign up at EduCyber’s web site. I’ll also be presenting that talk at CIPA College in Denver on March 27. CIPA is the Colorado Independent Publishers Association. The college runs from March 26-27. It’s everything you want to know about self publishing. Check it out!

It’s been estimated that over 93% of people lurk on social networking sites; not participating, just listening to the 7% who are actually taking part in the conversation. I confess to occasionally lurking myself.

I’m really a social person. But sometimes when I’m on Facebook or Twitter I just don’t feel like chatting.

So, I lurk. Now lurking can be defined as “to stay hidden, ready to attack” according to Webster’s New World Dictionary. (Am I the only person left who still has a dictionary on her desk?) Anyway, I do the hidden part mostly. I would only attack if somebody tried to steal my coffee.

You learn a lot when you lurk. You can follow up on tempting links and be the proverbial fly on the wall if there’s an interesting exchange. I tend to do a lot of research on internet marketing this way. And, sometimes I just eavesdrop. I suspect a lot of people do.

Chris Brogan wrote about “social listening” a couple of years ago. He took the process a step further by suggesting ways that information can come to you, by using tools like Google Alerts, Technorati, and Twitter’s search feature. I’m always surprised when I talk to authors who don’t continue to monitor what’s new in their field after their book comes out. Aside from tracking when you or your book is mentioned, it’s a good idea to keep tabs on what’s new in your field. Who knows? This sort of monitoring could lead to additional articles you can write or products to create to add to your book sales.

Some simple steps to try:

1. Google Alerts are easy to set up to get info on your topic delivered to your mailbox.

2. Follow gurus in your field on Twitter. Use the search feature to find them, then follow them.

3. As an added step, if you like their tweets, check out their blogs and subscribe.

Happy lurking!

How do you know if your brilliant book idea is really brilliant? I’ve met a lot of authors who had what they thought was a great idea for a book, wrote and published the book, and were stunned to find out that nobody was interested. Or not enough people were interested to sell many copies of their book.

So, you’ve got this idea for a book and maybe it’s a good one. How do you research your market to find out if if your idea is worth pursuing?

1. Check Amazon.com to see if there’s any books already published on the topic. Amazon has millions of obscure titles available on Marketplace. Don’t see a book on your topic? That’s not necessarily a good sign. Maybe there really isn’t any interest in your topic.

2. Buy some of the titles or check them out from your library. How will your book be  different? You don’t want to write a “me too” book that doesn’t offer anything new. Why would anyone be interested?

3. Research trends in your topic. Is your topic out of style or out of favor? Read online publications and blogs on your topic and look it up on Google Trends.

4. Look at how your topic fits in to what’s happening in the world today.  Nobody was terribly interested in solar power until oil prices went through the roof. Nobodywas really thinking about domestic terrorism in the US before 9/11.

5. Interview experts on your topic as you are developing your theme for your book. Having an expert in your corner might be useful for including new ideas in your book (that are properly attributed,) asking them to write the forward, or including their endorsement as a blurb for the cover. Looking for experts? Find and follow them on Twitter. Join trade organizations, online groups and subscribe to publications in your area.