You do not own a dog, the dog owns you.

- Unknown

This was the dog who owned me. Maggie left this earth yesterday, hopefully to a place where she can run and play and have all of the cookies she wants.

Today the house is much too quiet.

Maggie was not a well-behaved dog. I had to tape down the trash can lid to keep her from stealing trash. No throw pillow was safe from her. In her chewing phase she ate my phone headset, credit cards, a library book. There are still teeth marks on the cable box in the back yard.

When I was working, she liked to shove her nose under my mouse hand to get me to play with her. Her favorite game was “Chase me around the dining room table when it’s time to go for a walk.” Eventually, she’d sit and let me put her leash on her. We also played “Freight Train Dog.” I’d chase her around the house and she ran in wild circles from living room to dining room, sliding through the kitchen and back room until she was exhausted, tongue hanging out, eyes sparkling. She was, as my friend Joyce said, a joyous dog.

She loved walks. Not the exercise so much as the socializing. Hardly anyone in my neighborhood knew my name, but they knew Maggie. She would lay down flat on the sidewalk to wait for people and dogs she wanted to meet. “Awwww! How cute!” and they’d stop to pet her. Maggie was in heaven.

Last week she was playing with a neighbor’s dogs in the park when she came back limping. She couldn’t walk. An x-ray showed a ruptured acl in the right back knee. Surgery was scheduled for today, Oct 27. She hopped around the house on 3 legs and still wanted to play. Tuesday she hopped up on the patio from the grass and ruptured the other back knee. She couldn’t walk. Surgery and recovery would be too difficult for a 9 year old dog who couldn’t sit still.

Yesterday we made the heartbreaking decision to let her go. I sat on the floor in the vet’s examination room, held her, and said goodbye.

Today the house is much too quiet.

The casting director who dreamed up the list of possible “stars” to appear on Dancing With The Stars and included Bristol Palin should get a huge raise. The show this season has become a press agent’s dream. I have never seen so much buzz about the lengths a “star’s” fans will go to to keep her in the competition. Apparently fans are setting up bogus email addresses in order to stuff the ballot box. (Let’s face it fans, the girl is trying but she’s not very good.)

Last night I couldn’t log in to vote on ABC.com. The servers were clearly overloaded. I wanted to vote for Jennifer Grey as I firmly believe that she is the best dancer and should win. Why did I decide to vote? I believe there is a right wing conspiracy to make Bristol Palin the winner of DWTS. And it really annoys me that the country seems to think this is important. It also annoys me that I think it’s important enough to cast my own vote.

If Bristol wins, will this be a victory for the Tea Party or evangelicals, or lobbyists for the spray tan industry? Will Bristol’s victory give them a mandate to demand tax cuts or set the scene for Bristol to tango to the White House in 2032? Or is it more likely that Bristol will be the next Bachelorette or star in a new reality show called Alaska Shore?

Seriously, I’m facinated that we all care. Do we even remember who won the last 2 seasons of DWTS? I think this PR stunt of casting a politician’s kid has become a bizarre reflection of the enormous chasm between the two political parties and their cultural differences.

The winner tonight will prove…….nothing. Only that that casting director should get a big raise. I can’t wait to see who will be in the next cast. It will be a nice distraction from the real problems we face in this country.

I decided to start my spring cleaning early by cleaning up…myself. I started a 30-day cleanse on Saturday to detoxify my body and hopefully drop a few pounds. The diet part is relatively easy. Lots of fruits and vegetables and protein shakes and very little else for the first two weeks. But the real killer was giving up coffee.

I love coffee.

Coffee gets me out of bed in the morning, makes me want to live when it’s dark and nasty outside. I love the aroma of coffee, love the ritual of making it. I love to sit and drink it quietly, planning the day.

I especially love the caffeine. It wakes me up, makes me focus.

I haven’t had a cup of coffee since Friday.

Saturday was day one of the cleanse and my caffeine withdrawal. I felt like hell, all headache-y and out-of-body. And really sleepy. I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself. Drinking the shakes and eating only salad and brown rice was a snap in comparison.

Sunday, day two:  headache and out-of-body feeling was gone. Drank hot water and lemon first thing instead of coffee with half and half, agave and a dash of cinnamon in the grounds. Not bad. Drank orange and pineapple shake with protein stuff. Ok. Salad next – getting used to it.

Piece of cake.

Monday, day three: did not feel tempted by pizza offered at speakers’ workshop. Still want coffee more than anything. But, getting into herbal tea.

Tuesday, day four:  The Mountain Man guy came into the office with his big cart of candy and nut mixes. Had to say no to dark chocolate covered almonds and cranberries.  No problem. Would still kill for a non-fat latte.

Wednesday, day five: got the new food routine down, feel great, lost 4 lbs. Check.

Still want coffee? Check.